Drinking Game
Rules:
1) Watch "Married... With Children" (Can be seen Sunday nights on the
Fox Television Network [first-run episodes], and at various times and days
[syndicated episodes])
2) Take a drink (1 drink = normal swallow, gulp, swig, etc) of your
favourite beverage whenever any of the following events occur:
Al Bundy
Enters the house - 1 drink
Puts hand down pants - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if he puts his left hand down pants
- 3 drinks if he puts both hands down pants
Changes channel with remote control - 1 drink
Sings - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if he sings the theme to "Psycho Dad"
Says "Big 'uns" - 2 *big* drinks
Says "Let's Rock" - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if he says "Let's Something-Else"
eg: Let's bowl, let's cook
Says "Dodge" - 1 drink
Reminisces about his father and cries - 1 drink
Insults Peggy's family - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if he insults someone other than her mother
(specific name)
Calls Marcy a chicken - 1 drink
Says "Nudie Bar" - 1 drink
Mentions how he scored 4 touchdowns in a single game - 4 drinks (1 for each TD)
Wishes for death - 1 drink
Mentions John Wayne (The Duke) or a John Wayne movie - 1 drink
Sells a shoe - 1 drink
Insults a fat woman - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if he insults a fat woman while not in the
shoe store
Says "I am not gay!" - 1 drink
Removes shoes - 1 drink
Removes socks - 1 drink
Removes pants - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if he does this and expects to get desired sexually
Removes shirt - 1 drink
Is seen wearing football jersey from Polk High - 1 drink
Falls off roof - 1 drink
Beats up anybody - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's one of Kelly's boyfriends
Is picking any part of his body - 1 drink
Says "Steeeeeerike!" - 1 drink
Says "I love you" - 3 drinks
- 5 drinks if he says this to Peggy
Rolls up newspaper and walks to bathroom - 1 drink
Is shown eating - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's something Peggy cooked
In bed with Peggy - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if they are sleeping
Says "TV Guide" - 1 drink
Dreams - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's a football dream
Insults the French - 1 drink
Drinks a beer - Finish off your entire beverage - Don't let Al drink
alone
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Peggy Bundy
Comes down stairs - 1 drink
Smoking a cigarette - 1 drink
Eats a bon-bon - 1 drink
Any vibrator inference - 2 drinks
Cooks a meal - 3 drinks (must be shown making the meal)
Does housework - 2 drinks
Changes channel with remote control - 1 drink
Is watching Oprah - 1 drink
- 2 drinks for Phil Donahue
- 3 drinks for Geraldo
- 4 drinks for Richard Bey
Sleeping on couch - 1 drink when she wakes up
In bed with Al - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if they are sleeping
Says "Wanker" - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if she says "Wanker County"
- 3 drinks if she is in Wanker County
Peggy threatens Al with a visit from her relatives - 1 drink
The relatives actually visit - 1 drink for each relative
(Note: Excluding "Seven")
Talking on phone - 1 drink
Wearing a dress - 2 drinks
Steals from Al (shown or referred to) - 1 drink
Steals from the kids (shown or referred to) - 2 drinks
Buys something - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if the purchase is actually shown
Shown bowling - 1 drink (for every ball thrown)
Sings or lip-syncs - 1 drink
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Kelly Bundy
Shown in a dress - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's the Verminator costume
- 2 drinks if it's her waitressing outfit
Shown in a bathing suit - wipe the drool from your mouth and take 2 drinks
Shown with bimbo friends - 1 drink for every additional bimbo
Shown on TV - 1 drink (only the 1st time in the episode)
Making out with guy on couch - 1 drink
Coming home from a date - 1 drink
Leaving home to go on a date - 1 drink
Uses the wrong word - 1 drink (eg Topeka instead of Eureka)
- 2 drinks if the word used is sexual (eg: "The
*prostitution* rests instead of "The prosecution
rests")
Alludes to the fact that she is not a real blonde - 1 drink
Shown driving (car or motorcycle) - 1 drink
Gets a modelling job - 1 drink (for 1st time mentioned in episode)
Is called "Pumpkin" by Al - 1 drink
Delivers a dumb line, stuttering and hesitant - 1 drink
Puts her head sideways so it rests on someone's shoulder - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if that someone is Al
Chases Bud up the stairs - 1 drink
Alludes to seducing a teacher - 1 drink
Dances - 2 drinks when she stops
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Bud Bundy
Uses a fake name (eg: Bud Bon Jovi) (Note: except "GrandMaster B") - 1 drink
Calls himself "GrandMaster B" - 1 drink (1st time in episode)
Called a twisted derivation of "GrandMaster B" eg: Bed-Wetter B) - 2 drinks
Mentions a "rubber woman" - 1 drink
Mentions any other "fake" date (eg: dressing Buck up like a woman) - 2 drinks
Makes a Budweiser reference - 1 drink
On a couch with a girl - 1 drink
Gets lucky (inferred) - 2 drinks
Gets Kelly in trouble with parents - 1 drink
Gets into a fist fight / gets beat up- 1 drink
- 2 drinks if he wins / is winning
Mentions a girl he has a crush on by name - 1 drink
Gets slapped in face by a woman - 1 drink
Chases Kelly up the stairs - 1 drink
Raps - 1 drink
Teaches Kelly some nonsense - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if the nonsense is based on television
Rubs his hands - 1 drink
Screams from being thrown or falling - 1 drink
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Buck Bundy
Any spoken line by Buck - 1 drink each time Buck "speaks"
(Except episode where he was played by a guy in a dog suit)
Buck eats - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's food meant for Al
Buck gets lucky (or alluded to) - 1 drink
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Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy
Mentions her woman's group - 1 drink
Requests / demands sex from husband - 1 drink
Talks about her past (eg: mother / sister stories) - 1 drink
Insults Al's hairline - 1 drink
Insults Al's hygiene - 1 drink
Makes fun of Al's sexual prowess - 1 drink
Says (or thinks so we can hear) something sexual
about man other than husband - 1 drink
Tells Jefferson to get a job - 1 drink
Shown in bank - 1 drink
Reference to her short hair - 1 drink
Reference to her small chest - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if she responds to the effect that Al's chest is larger
Bashes men as a group - 1 drink
Amanda Bearse directs the episode - 1 drink
- 2 drinks for short token appearance of Marcy
on an episode directed by Amanda Bears
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Steven Rhoades
Insults Marcy (behind her back) - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's to her face
Sings (opera, classical music, etc) - 1 drink
Comments about hairline - 1 drink
Shown with a beard - 1 drink
Appears in an episode post-divorce - 1 drink (1st time shown in episode)
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Jefferson D'Arcy
Reference made to his past (Note: excepting Land Scam) - 1 drink
Reference made to Ted McGinley's past acting career - 1 drink
Comment made about his hair -1 drink
Says "Nudie Bar" - 2 drinks
Shown at a job - 2 drinks
Insults Marcy (behind her back) - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's to her face
Gets injured while working on a foolish project with Al - 1 drink
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Other Events
"Whoa, Bundy!" - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if it's "Whoa, Anything-Else" eg: "Whoa, stealing old
ladys' pension cheques!")
Members of NOMA'AM shown (wearing NOMA'AM shirts) - 1 drink for each member
A Verducci (Charlie or Vinnie) appears - 1 drink (1st time in the episode)
That Spanish-American newscaster is shown
A toilet is heard flushing - 1 drink
The bum (long haired scruffy looking guy who asks for change) is shown - 1 drink
The name "Habib" is mentioned - 1 drink
The name "Garry" is mentioned - 1 drink
The name "Bob Rooney" is mentioned -1 drink
Al shown playing a sport - 1 drink
The Dodge is shown/heard entering the garage
Another Fox show is mentioned - 1 drink
Fox network is insulted - 1 drink
Another network's show is mentioned - 2 drinks (except for talk shows)
Another network is insulted - 1 drink
Any character is electrocuted - 1 drink
A song is played (either on radio, or otherwise) - 1 drink and sing along
("Go with him...")
Any actor from an old sitcom appears - 1 drink
- 2 drinks if they were a child actor
Officer Dan arrests Al - 1 drink
Seven dies - finish rest of bottle, go to the liquor store, buy more, party
like it's 1999!
NOTE: The next one is not for the faint-hearted:
The word "shoe" is said - 1 drink
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NOTES:
1) The "Married... With Children" Drinking Game was created by Anil (Bob) Kapur
2) This game is not authorized, endorsed, or otherwise acknowledged by the
creators of "Married... With Children" or the Fox Television Network
3) This game is intended for entertainment purposes only. So please, no
wagering. (Apologies to David Letterman)
4) Insert your favourite warning about the dangers of alcohol abuse here
5) Special thanks to the following people for their assistance, comments,
and suggestions
Thomas Lee
Tom Breton
Jose Leon
Brett (Merv) Martin
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